enough quizzes for me... lol. the day before, ytd, today. *crystal scales bleeding glittering tears. sigh.. what is wrong with me? why the hell am i this way??? zzz, sometimes i so hate myself, for being me. i keep making mistakes over and over and over again. ppl do make mistakes, but i cant be forgiven, i've made too many, far too many, over and over again. why, do i always forget? always so lethargic, and dead. why? what made me like this? i don't even know. i suck in everything, as my mom says...its not cause i don't want to, its coz i dont have enough motivation. i'm put down all the time, over and over again. help me. no one can, only i can help myself.. tried, i reslly did. but i'll try again, with a whole lot more determination and energy this time. i need to...save myself from this wilderness journey i'm lost in. to find myself, to achieve what i want and what i need to. i want to, start over. its just i've hardly been given enough time, let alone the chance to. things just come shooting back, and i'm being thrown back again, into the dark. if only i could..have a family whole, if only i had been stronger, and not so supceptable to things happening around me. if only i had a heart of stone when i want to, no feelings, no emotions, nothing would move me. my dreams are closed to being shattered, while my mom is closed to hating me. i seem to fear life now, but i have to face it, the truth, the problem, me. if only i could...start life altogether again.. its impossible, we all know.

God, save me,take me away.

'e ObLiT3RaToR~